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My Tribute to Independance Day54 views |
| moshburn - 7/3/09, 4:15 pm |
| IMAGE REMOVED - CLICK TO VIEW Back in the day folks could challenge each other to duels, and as a matter of character, even though it was illegal in the North, one was compelled to defend their honor and throw down. Enter Aaron Burr. Third Vice President of the US under Thomas Jefferson. Apparently he was a weasely bastard who would climb over his own dead grandmother to suck at the teat of success. After being beat in a race for governer of New York, he was slandered in the papers by cronies of Alexander Hamilton, Constitutional Lawyer and Secretary of Treasury. Burr demanded an apology from Alex, and Alex said "No Way, Dickbreath". Burr demanded a further apology and Alex said "No Way, you morally corrupt weasel.". Burr demanded a third apology and Alex said "Fuck you, it's not slander if it's true, you nutsack." Burr challenged him to a duel. Alex said okay, choosing his own set of pistols. The pistols had a 20lb trigger, making them hard to fire accurately. But Alex has a fuckin dirty secret, that there was also a 1lb hair trigger. Even still, Alex told his mates that he wasn't going to shoot at Burr anyways, because the guy wasnt even worth being shot. So they take their respective boats to a killing spot, take ten paces, turn and duel. There are two shots fired, Alex's being a high miss, in what seems to be an obvious avoidance of Burr. But Burr had better luck. Hamilton goes down, shot near the hip, mortally wounded. Burr for some reason is shocked and acts like he didnt mean to kill the guy, but just cripple him. Burr is villianized, even though the man was just respecting the ways of the duel. Then he goes to the Southwest to weasel his way into power with a Mexican state. The end. |
| tylerforpants - 7/3/09, 4:21 pm |
| ctrl+F "will smith." |
| Egoo - 7/3/09, 4:25 pm |
| this is one of my favorite stories in american history and you told it amazingly. kudos, good show. |
| moshburn - 7/3/09, 7:45 pm |
| Also, I am going to celebrate my country by blowing up a small part of it. I am on my way to the TNT Warehouse right now. Open till 11pm |
| moshburn - 7/3/09, 10:23 pm |
| $150 later. I am ready to explode, literally. |
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